March 28, 2024
  • 7:51 pm North American Landfills No Longer Accepting Face Masks
  • 10:16 am Woman With The Right Curves In The Road Rescued By Shaquille O’Neil And Leaves Her Old Life Behind
  • 9:40 am Mexico Begging American President Trump To Get His Act Together And Build The Border Wall
  • 12:49 pm Xanthaphobia Seen As Reason For Conservatives’ Misgivings On Riots
  • 8:50 am Fashion Trendsetting Antifa Chooses Peddle Boat As Transportation Of Choice

Citing what landfill industry insiders say has become an EPA-categorized bacterial hazard, face masks will no longer be allowed in trash delivered to any U.S. landfill. The White House administration, which has a long aversion to mask-wearing, declared masks to be bio hazards on Monday afternoon during the daily mask-shaming conference. Bio hazards are closely […]

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Shaquille O’Neil solved the world’s problems when he stopped on a Florida highway to help out a stranded driver whose tire blew out. Mr. O’Neal, 48, was witnessed driving and singing near Gainesville, Florida, on Monday when he saw the accident and pulled over to make sure everyone was okay. The NBA campfire legend then […]

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Following years of post-election promises, American President Trump is far behind on the construction of his long-promised border wall, making a lot of Mexican citizens nervous. Those Mexican citizens, seeing news on their phones about Antifa and Black Lives Matter burning and looting cities all across the Disunited States, are more determined than ever to […]

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Washington, D.C. (FN) — Fear of the color yellow, also known as xanthaphobia, has been discovered to be at the heart of the trepidation conservatives have expressed when it comes to the censure culture, the cancel culture, the riots, and the destruction of America’s cities. Xanthaphobia, according to Terrance Creekside, professor of gender and color […]

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Heads turn every time that cool sound of splashing and churning water reaches shore. America’s Al Quaeda, known as Antifa, loved and adored across the land as the anonymous group of sun-starved, pasty white idealists who promote their intimidating pseudo religious ideals with submit-or-die zeal, have stolen the hearts of people everywhere by ascending to […]

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Jancy, Texas (FN) — A self-proclaimed angry atheist says the foolish teaching of God’s existence should be removed from all public schools because God showed her that he doesn’t exist. Adrianne Harper, 32, says she has had it up to here with religious teachers in public schools, but especially the conservative, religious influence most university […]

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How many American senators bought stock in Hoover Vacuum Company ahead of an important announcement will later be a matter of useless dispute. But on Tuesday, Hoover Corporation announced its latest product that will be called the Power Vacuum, and President Trump announced immediately that he has ordered Ford Motor Company to stop making ventilators […]

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Chaz Bono, formerly Chastity Bono, former closeted lesbian, now heterosexual trans man who promises to vote Republican when Hell freezes over, stared slack-jawed as his namesake, CHAZ was invaded by some of the worst humans ever to walk the planet shoulder to shoulder carrying police clubs to clear the zone of protesters. Jenny Turban, mayor […]

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The Dixie Chicks, the country music group most known as leftists who were sly enough to get straw-chewin’ right wingers to listen to their music because it was on the only country music station in town, has bowed to social demands to change their name. The Dixie Hens, as they will now be called, have […]

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Philadelphia, PA (FN) — The so-called Liberty Bell, previously called the Dependence Bell, or Old Slave Dinner Bell, for 250 years was an iconic symbol of American independence and dominance over weak races until Sunday night when a mob–a mob that has had a really busy schedule–at last was able to attack it. As the […]

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